When my heart was embittered and I was pierced within, then I was senseless and ignorant; I was like a beast before You. Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand. With Your counsel You will guide me, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For, behold, those who are far from You will perish; You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You. But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works. (Psalm 73:21-28)
At the beginning of Psalm 73, the psalmist says about himself, "My feet came close to stumbling, my steps had almost slipped." Why? "For I was envious of the arrogant as I saw the prosperity of the wicked." He had an unrighteous anger against the wicked and, it seems, began to to desire what they had even as he protested against it!
He became bitter and confused -- "senseless and ignorant," "like a beast" before God. That is what bitterness does...it blinds and deceives us until we are as beasts -- ugly, stupid animals who have not the presence of mind to come before God.
But nevertheless! Nevertheless -- in spite of the psalmist's own senselessness and pride -- God had his right hand firmly in His grip. "Nevertheless I am continually with You," he writes.
This brings to my mind a picture of a busy parking lot, in which my father and my three-year-old self are walking. He holds my hand. I see other three-year-olds skipping ahead of their fathers and mothers, unrestrained, and no harm seems to come to them. In anger and embarrassment and pride, I twist and squirm in a weak attempt to break loose from my father's warm grip. He doesn't let go. I cross my arms (as best as I can while holding his hand), scowl, and stomp my foot. Bitterness begins to take root. When my heart become upset, my actions were senseless and ignorant in my father's eyes -- and, years later, in my own when I understood the danger of a child running free in a busy parking lot. But in spite of my unruly resistance, my father did not push me away from him; he brought me closer. He took hold of my hand and made sure that I was continually with him, because he loved me.
"With Your counsel You will guide me, and afterward receive me to glory."
How necessary is the Lord's counsel to His children! And how undeserved is His goodness and mercy, that He would receive me, His oft-confused and bitter child, and say, "I will keep you safe; you will walk beside Me; I will be your guide -- only receive My counsel! And I will receive you to glory! See, all these things I will do for My child whom I love."
"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail" -- and oh, how often they have already! -- "but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Hallelujah!
But here a question must be asked. The psalmist was "envious of the arrogant" and "his heart was embittered" until he was "senseless and ignorant". How then did he arrive at "I desire nothing on earth besides You"?
I believe that the answer can be found in verses 16 and 17, and 27 and 28. "When I pondered to understand this [the prosperity of the wicked], it was troublesome in my sight until I came into the sanctuary of God; then I perceived their end... For behold, those who are far from You will perish; You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You. But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works."
The sanctuary of God -- the nearness of God.
How shall we grow in love if we try to live apart from our God? How shall I learn to "trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding" if I am not growing in His wisdom and understanding? How can we separate the clamor of the world from the still small voice of the Holy Spirit when we are not drawing near to Him?
God does His part perfectly -- holding us in His strong hand, remaining continually with us, disciplining us when we stray -- but we too have a part. We must come into His sanctuary; we must embrace His nearness as our good; we must make Him, and Him alone, our refuge.
Why?
Here is at least one reason: "That I may tell of all Your works."
We try to make salvation and our walk with the Lord all about us, but this should not be! May GOD be glorified through our union! May GOD'S great works be praised, and none of mine! Let us come into God's presence -- His sanctuary! -- desiring to lift Him up and make Him our only focus! May we run the race before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, throwing aside the world and opening our arms to Him alone!
